I'm in need of medicine...

...something strong that'll work real fast.

and I'm not saying there was nothing wrong....
punkelement
Its amazing
How you make your face just like a wall
How you take your heart and turn it off
How I turn my head and lose it all

Its unnerving
How just one move puts me by myself
There you go just trusting someone else
Now I know I put us both through hell

Im not saying there wasn't nothing wrong
I just didn't think you'd ever get tired of me
Im now saying we ever had the right to hold on
I just didn't wanna let it get away from me

But if that's how it's gonna leave
Straight out from underneath
Then well see whos sorry now
If that's how it's gonna stand, when
You know youve been depending on
The one you're leaving now
The one you're leaving out

Its aggravating
How you threw me on and you tore me out
How your good intentions turn to doubt
The way you needed time to sort it out

Im not saying there wasn't nothing wrong
I just didn't think you'd ever get tired of me
Im now saying we ever had the right to hold on
I just didn't wanna let it get away from me

But if that's how it's gonna leave
Straight out from underneath
Then well see whos sorry now
If that's how it's gonna stand, when
You know youve been depending on
The one you're leaving now
The one you're leaving out

The one you're leaving now
The one you're leaving out

Im not saying there wasn't nothing wrong
I just didn't think you'd ever get tired of me

But if that's how it's gonna leave
Straight out from underneath
Then well see whos sorry now
If that's how it's gonna stand, when
You know youve been depending on
The one you're leaving now
The one you're leaving out

Tell me is that how it's going to end
When you know youve been depending on
The one you're leaving now
And the one you're leaving out

The one you're leaving now
The one you're leaving out

(no subject)
punkelement
Just when things were coming together.....everything falls apart.

God I miss him....

word. [random]
punkelement
so..i'm not dead. not dead yet at least.

im hardly ever on the computer anymore

lots of school and work and whatknot occupies my time

i do get on myspace from time to time

mostly just to check if i have anything new

long gone are the days i would just sit on the computers for hours just for fun

i work at heb and it's hella better than walmart

i have a boyfriend named William and he and I have been together nearly a year and a half

and i love him.

yay

i joined a soroity, Sigma Alpha, Sisters in Agriculture, and it's pretty ligit

i need to win the lotto

my car is being a douche lately

i love my silly puppy, Chevelle

i need to find my mom a boyfriend

i'm sick of school, but i should graduate on time

i'm really annoyed that obama is gonna be the next president
hello 4 years of socialism

if i wasn't in school i would pack it up and move it mexico for at least the next four years

even though he thinks texas is stupid for clinging to their guns and their religion

that's EXCATLY what i am doing

im insanely jealous of all the girls in my soroity that are engaged, or live with their boyfriends

i'm one of the last people that i graduated high school with that isn't married/engaged/has kids

i have to pee

i hate diabetes

i might have cancer in my girl parts

i wish it was thanksgiving already [hello time and a half pay!]

BTHO tu

i need to do something with my hair, like cut it, dye it, or both

i need an eyebrow wax too

i started selling mary kay, so please, buy some and support me and my student loans!

cream cheese rangoons are my new crack

i need to go get ready for work


word



[/randomness]



if anybody actaully still reads this...comment and let me know




-Rachel DeAnne

(no subject)
punkelement
reading a few of my old entieres
like REALLY old

make me realize


that i was such a douche
and
how much ive grown up
in not that long a time

(no subject)
punkelement
im still alive





















but barely.

i want to run...but only far enough to make you miss me
punkelement
I want to scream, until no sound comes out and you've learned your lesson
I want to swallow these pills to get to sleep
So I don't have to make a bad impression

I need to start to be myself
Cause I'm sick of everybody else


I won't let you bring me down
It's here and now I'm breaking out
I will learn to love again
But I will stand a broken man

I wanna run, but only far enough to make you miss me
I wanna take back all the shit that I have done
But I guess you were better off without me



I need to start to be myself
Cause I'm sick of everybody else


I won't let you bring me down
It's here and now, I'm breaking out
I will learn to love again
But I will stand a broken man

I took one big step and I looked away
And then I thought of all the things that I wanted to say
I'm always too late
You never got your story straight
I'm always up late
I think I'm everything you hate

I took one big step and I looked away
And then I thought of all the things that I wanted to say
I'm always too late
You never got your story straight
I'm always up late

I think I'm everything you hate



I took one big step and I looked away
And then I thought of all the things that I wanted to say
I'm always too late
You never got your story straight
I'm always up late
I think I'm everything you hate

I won't let you bring me down
It's here and now, I'm breaking out
I will learn to love again
But I will stand a broken man

(I took one big step and I looked away, and I thought of all the things that I wanted to say)
I won't let you bring me down
(I'm always too late, you never got your story straight, I'm always up late, I think I'm everything you hate)
It's here and now I'm breaking out
(I took one big step and I looked away, and I thought of all the things that I wanted to say)
I will learn to love again
(I'm always too late, you never got your story straight)
But I will stand a broken man

*le sigh*..and i'm still trying to convince myself i'm not missing you
punkelement
i don’t think that passenger seat
Has ever looked this good to me
He tells me about his night
And I count the colors in his eyes
He’ll never fall in love he swears
As he runs his fingers through his hair
I’m laughing cause I hope he wrong
I don't think it ever crossed his mind
He tells a joke I fake a smile
That I know all his favorite songs
And..


I could tell you his favorite colors green
He loves to argue, born on the seventeenth
His sister beautiful, he has his father’s eyes
And if you ask me if I love him,
I’d lie

He looks around the room
Innocently overlooks the truth
Shouldn’t a light go on?
Doesn’t he know I’ve had him memorized for so long?
He sees everything black and white
Never let nobody see him cry
I don’t let no body see him wishing he was mine

I could tell you his favorite colors green
He loves to argue, born on the seventeenth
His sister beautiful, he has his father’s eyes
And if you ask me if I love him,
I’d lie

He stands there then walks away
My god if I could only say
I’m holding every breathe for you...

He’d never tell you but he can play guitar
I think he can see through everything
But my heart
First thought when I wake up is
My god he’s beautiful
So I put on my make up
And pray for a miracle

Yes I could tell you his favorite colors green
He loves to argue oh and it kills me
His sisters beautiful he has his father’s eyes
And if you asked me if I love him

If you ask me if I love him
I’d lie


i am
punkelement
I am a daughter, a sister, a grand-daughter, a niece,
a cousin, a friend. I am a partner. A student. A young
girl, and a grown woman.
I am confident and scared,
terrified and excited. I am loving and caring,and
thoughtful and hopeful. I am sick and tired. I am
shy and friendly. And careful and careless. I am
broken and whole. I am misunderstood, misguided,
and mislead. I am hard working and determined, but
a little scared on the inside. I wish on stars and
dream my dreams. I pray to god, and cry my tears.
I smile on the outside, while im dying on the inside.
I listen to others who won't listen to me. I walk on
eggshells, and I walk on fire. I believe in passion,
but not true love. I love you, and I push you away.
I want you, but not so close. I am everything, and
nothing all at once. And all I want...is for you...to

love me

.

and i was like fuck shoes...well...soci 206 really
punkelement
so i just realized i have a test in soci tomorrow
and i was like okay
and then i look at the book
and the readings are like 24052452 pages long a piece
granted i have the questions to the test
but this is complex
and each question has like 5 questions in it
ugh
im looking at like every study guide on the web
even paid for something
and for the marx stuff yeah i can find things
but i doubt ill be able too for the weber article and the durkheim one
son of a bitch
why couldnt i just have passed soci 205 last semester.?
that was like multiple choice shit
not fuckign eassy everything
reading intensive
and papers every other week
fuck
i think im gonna cry
i have to not get behind on shit anymore
i really need to pull it together
im staying up all night to study and read and writing as small as possible bc i get to use a page of notes
my eyes hurt
and i need to wash my hair
im so gonna need to get laid tomorrow after this fucking test
thats for damn sure
and then i have an agronomy quiz wednesday
and i need to read alllllll that shit
and then an anthropolgy test friday
which im wayyyyyyyyyy behind on that reading
and the study guide is like three pages
and has everything and the kitchen sink on it
why couldnt i just have gone to community college?
*smacks head on desk*

*dueces*
-rachel

THINGS BOYS SHOULD FREAKING KNOW
punkelement
1. I can't stress this enough, just because we're moaning does NOT mean you're doing a good job.

2. Intercourse and oral are fabulous and are very much preferred methods of sexual interaction but if you're going to use your hands PLEASE be sure you know what you're doing. Flailing around aimlessly does not get the job done. Sorry boys. Oh, and please cut your nails.

3. There's a difference between being assertive and being an asshole. Your dick isn't made of gold, buddy. Get over yourself. If you're a jerk we WILL seek sexual gratification elsewhere.

4. We hate games and those who play them as much as you do. If we're playing games it's because A) we have no idea what your feelings are towards us because you haven't told us yet or B) you're playing games too.

5. Don't player hate. If you can screw some chick you met at a bar and the last time you ever speak to her is the morning after, then we are entitled to do the same. Fuck that double-standard bullshit. We crave sex just as much as the next guy.

6. Like you, we also have multiple prospects in mind at all times (unless we're in a serious relationship, then it’s limited to just one or two).

7. Just because I hooked up with your friend (or more than one person that you know of) does NOT mean you have a chance. Wanna get laid? Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.

8. There is nothing hotter in the world than a guy who smells good. Case closed.

9. Don't get mad when you buy us a drink and we don't talk to you all night, give you our phone numbers, or go home with you. If we really like you, no alcohol is necessary (although it is by no means discouraged).

10. Women are indecisive creatures because we actually think things through and take other people into consideration. Accept it. Make a decision and if we don't like it, we'll let you know. Don't make us pick. We hate it.

11. Our boobs are God's gift to you but please remember that they are attached to our bodies. How would you like it if we twisted your balls?

12. The number one thing that makes you fuckable to almost every female on this planet: playing the guitar. It's just a fact.

13. Extreme jealousy is the ultimate turn off. We like it when you get upset that a good-looking guy talks to us. What we don't like is you trying to control us. We don't have to tell you where we are 24/7 and if we want to go out clubbing without you, we will. Suck it up.

14. The more you remind us that you think we're beautiful and that you love us, the happier we are. The happier we are, the less bitching we do. The less bitching we do, the happier you are. Get it?

15. We kiss. We tell. If your dick is small or you're bad in bed, we never talk to you again. Then, we tell everyone we know so they don't have the misfortune of finding out for themselves. Be careful who you fuck over. As you know, girls talk...a lot...about EVERYTHING.

16. If you haven't checked out our boobs, legs, or asses within 15 minutes of us having started our converstation then we'll assume you're gay and flirt with your friends. This does not mean you are entitled to any touching nor does it mean that you can stare at our breasts nonstop.

17. Hair anywhere besides your head, face, arms, and legs is not hot. Minimal chest hair is fine. Back hair is disgusting. If you're a hairy dude, don't expect to get much play. If you refuse to shave your face upon request then don't get mad if we don't shave our legs. Karma is a bitch.

18. If you have a strand of hair longer than ours, chances are you're not getting any. If we wanted a girl, we wouldn't be talking to you.

19. If you dated one of our friends and she broke up with you, wait a minimum of 6 days before showing interest in us. If you broke up with her, it's either 6 months or never (depending on how bad the break-up was).

20. We are allowed to have a guy friend without being attracted to him. If you don't like him, that's fine but don't you dare tell us that we can't hang out with who we want to hang out with and expect there do be no problems. Also keep in mind that if you're allowed to hang out with girls without us there, then we are allowed to hang out with guys without you there. It's been said before, the double standard is bullshit.

21. If you are trying to pick up girls downtown, don’t bring along other girls. We'll assume that you're taken and not speak to you the entire night. Groups of 3 guys or more are preferrable.

22. We don't like to watch you play video games. There are two kind of girls in this world: those who play video games and those who don't. Either way, we don't want to sit there and be spectators.

23. If you think another girl is hot, keep it to yourself. We don't care.

24. The wait-three-days-before-you-call-her rule is the dumbest rule ever thought up. To us, no call = no interest and we will be shacking it up with your roommate instead. The truth hurts.

25. We like to shop. If you decide to come shopping with us, please don't complain. Its annoying.

26. Foreplay is not an option. It is a prerequisite. Seriously.

27. Putting things in our butt does not turn us on. If we want it, we'll ask for it. Otherwise, stay away. For most of us THIS IS AN EXIT ONLY!

28. Boxers and boxer briefs are good. Whitey tighties are NEVER ok.

29. If we are on our period or have not previously shaven, we are not having sex with you. We don't care how horny you are (this does not hold true if you are in a serious relationship).

30. The silent treatment, one word answers, dirty looks, pursed/tightened lips, limited or no eye contact and shoulder shrugs all mean "I am mad at you". Proceed with caution because you did something very, very wrong.

31. We aren't stupid. We can tell the second we meet you if you're a player or not. If you're not, don't pretend you are because it's really pathetic. If you are, don't pretend you aren't because we can tell and it usually doesn't effect if we want to have sex with you or not. No lie.

32. We WILL claim your stuff. If it stays in our room overnight and it doesn't leave with you in the morning, it's ours. If we stay in your room overnight and it leaves with us in the morning, it's ours. It's an unwritten rule.

33. DO NOT ask us for a blowjob unless we are dating. This is the ultimate way to make us think you are an asshole not worth talking to anymore. If we wanted to give you a blowjob, we'd be down there already. Want to know how to get a blowjob without asking? Go down on us first. Yeah...it's like that.

34. Any guy can be replaced. Remember that no matter how perfect you seem, there's always a girl somewhere that can attest to you being an asshole. Always.

35. When we're watching our t.v. show, please refrain from smartass comments. If you have anything to say, say it during the commercials. If you get Sunday night football, we get Grey's Anatomy on Thursday at 9. Live with it.

36. There is nothing worse than a guy who can't tell you're not into him. Please don't make us be bitches for you to finally get it. If we don't call you, we don't like you. If we're constantly looking around instead of at you when we talk, we don't like you. If we don't laugh reasonably hard when you crack a joke, we don't like you. If we don't sit close to you when we get a chance to sit next to you, we don't like you. If we spend all night making trips to the bathroom to get away from you, we don't like you. Take the fucking hint!

37. We can argue for days. Don't start with us. You won't win.

38. Please brush your teeth before you meet up with us. We don't care how hot you are and how good of a kisser you are, nasty breath is never seductive.

39. No matter how we say it, "No" means "No". If we say "No", please stop. If we like it, we'll ask you why you stopped. If we don't like it, we'll just be thankful you respected us. Respect is one thing you should always show us if you care about us.

40. NEVER, by any means unless you want to die a long and painful death, should you EVER tell a woman you love her unless you truly mean it. Trying to get a woman into bed with you under false pretenses is the lowest low anyone can ever stoop to and you WILL have problems getting laid in the future. That's not a threat, it's a promise.

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